Monday, February 20, 2017

the dead don't blow out candles

People erroneously wish happy birthday to the dead. You only get to blow out candles and make wishes when you are alive. I'm alive right now and eating cake. Kurt Cobain is dead right now and I have no idea how or where he is but I'm pretty sure he isn't eating cake. Did he eat cake when he was alive? Maybe. Probably. He was really fucking skinny. He threw up a lot. When I found out that he had blown his brains out I mourned for three days. I cried and listened to my "Nevermind" cassette over and over again. I have the Rolling Stone book with his scowling face on the cover. It was a Christmas gift from Uncle Greg. He died of lung cancer in 1999.

There is a puke ass trend that pisses me off. People wish happy birthday to dead celebrities all the fuck over social media. THE DEAD DON'T BLOW OUT CANDLES. The dead aren't getting any older. I don't believe in reincarnation. I don't believe in soul mates. I don't believe all suicides go straight to hell. I don't believe in purgatory. I don't know what the hell I believe in.

I believe in birthday cake.

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