The 100 GREATEST BooKS eVeR wRiTTeN

This post was inspired by a conversation I had with David this morning after recording my latest pick a card reading. I referenced The Color Purple in the reading and David asked me if I was serious. Yes. I'm serious. Quite. I love the novel and I love the film. Kiss my white (with a dash of Creole) ass.

So I made this noiSe track and listed my 100 favorite books in the description box. David vehemently disagrees with MOST of my choices. He's especially disgusted by Bukowski and Lester Bangs. Fair enough. If you haven't purchased the first 22 books on the list you kind of suck. Just joking. But I am dismayed by your lack of interest and I am a bit hurt. I'll live.

 

FIND A BETTER COUNTRY

Back in the glorious MySpace days of 2008 I remember a cousin's husband at the time (she's on marriage #3...common in Texas) had this pithy quote on his page: 

"This is AMERICA. If you don't like it you can LEAVE."

I took umbrage. He lived in a brand-new brick house (thanks to his wealthy grandfather) and I was living on WIC and food stamps in a tiny trashy rent house I called The Crack Whore Shack in Nederland, Texas with my infant son and his father, my second husband. I remember thinking, "I would LEAVE if I COULD. Asshole."

I don't like The United States of America, the country of my birth. I don't like Texas, the state of my birth. I finally left at the age of 53. I live on this island in the Caribbean. I've been here with my fiance (David) since May. We still haven't been to Secret Beach but we aren't really beach people. We don't drink. We don't get stoned. We're boring as hell with our weights and resistance bands and yoga mat. We write books and fuck each other and take pictures of palm trees and iguanas and the moon.

There's no Walmart or McDonald's or Taco Bell or Ross Dress For Less on this island. How do I cope? Oh, the usual...eating JIF Extra Crunchy from the jar, watching "Cheaters" in bed with my man, reading the PDF of his novel until I sob.

I am not Taylor Swift. Jesus wept. Selah.

p.S. in a recent dream I purchased a FIFTH AVENUE candy bar, something I haven't done in many moons

 

$134.92

I just created this collage. It's available on various products at Redbubble. Buy the canvas print and hang it above your sofa. Your friends will be impressed.