PERSONALIZED PET PHOTO PILLOW

This personalized pet photo bullshit is pissing me off beyond all reason. ENOUGH.
This has inspired me to write my next piece for Retarded Beyond Redemption, my latest collaboration with the Aries who dicks me down on a regular basis.

For some reason known only by God the above photo brings this song to mind. I guess it's actually a pretty obvious association. Unless you're retarded beyond redemption. But if you want to be a millionaire by Halloween you should be listening to this. BYE.

 

RETARD DOGGO

Nothing disgusts me more than retard hyper consumerism. Hey, if you want to spend thousands of dollars on some kind of special retard pet and name him Buck or Tiger or Taylor or Aladdin, knock yourself out. But DO YOU REALLY NEED a ceramic replica of your goddamn special angel? Rhetorical question. To each her own lollipop. I'm over here judging and mocking your choices.

 

aRe YOU ReaDY foR RETARD PENIS?

"Ready or NOT, here I CUM!"

Yes, boo. RETARD PENIS is ready for YOU.
Are you weary of the usual shit being churned out by Random Penguin and POETS R US? Then you are in for quite the treat.

BLuRB from maNKaTo, resident iguana:

I shit all over these pages. Trees were killed for THIS???

 

TODAY'S ATTEMPTS

 

it's not a coffee mug

you'll come running bacK

GET YOUR CANDY

GET YOUR CANDY

 

BOTCHED

BOTCHED

 

TEMU uNiTed STaTeS

everything must go