GET YOUR CANDY

GET YOUR CANDY

 

BOTCHED

BOTCHED

 

TEMU uNiTed STaTeS

everything must go

 

lulu.com remains ReTaRDeD

Global distribution for my art book (((Chupacabra Disco))) was rejected because of the cover text. "Art by Misti Rainwater" was deemed unacceptable by The Retarded Powers That Be at lulu.com. Here is the new revised cover. And here is a new coLLaGe.

xxx MISTI xxx
 

MANKATO is PLeaSeD

Mankato is pleased with the final revised editions of SLOBBER and STUNT COCK. He suggests you purchase copies of both poetry collections immediately. You will thoroughly enjoy.

xxx MISTI xxx

 

COFFEE PIZZA SHARK

Yes. You can have it all, especially in Siem Reap where coffee pizza sandwiches burger hotdog chicken wing shark can be purchased with pocket change across the street from Fujiyama BOM-BA-YE. Do not forget your poncho. Bring your favorite iPhone so that you can post pictures on Instagram. People want to see your food, especially the noodles.

Stay in America. Stay in the United States. Stay in San Francisco. Stay in Dallas. Stay in San Antonio. Stay in Sedona. Stay in Tucson. Stay in Seattle. Stay in Queens. Stay in New Orleans. Stay in Miami. Stay in macaroni and cheese. Stay in white cream gravy. Stay in Coke Zero. Stay in Great Value ginger ale. Stay in Jesus. Stay in Black Friday sale. Stay in Mariah Carey Xmas Land. Stay in a dozen or more variations of Warm Vanilla Sugar in Bath & Body Works. Stay in Planet Fitness. Stay in trailer park. Stay in barrio. Stay in ghetto. Stay in Happy Meal. Stay in The Sun WILL Come Out TOMORROW. Stay in bottom dollar. Stay in Vote Democrat. Stay in karmic preschool.

So much noiSe to choose from! Gee, Wally. A bitch can get confused! Sloan Bella says Dolly Parton will reincarnate as Taylor Swift's first baby. Might be a girl, not sure. Her name will be Diamond Extravaganza or something eerily similar. Sloan Bella says Jay-Z and Beyonce are busy worker bees in The Beast System. Also. Mark David Chapman was a vessel. Also. Paul McCartney died in the Sixties. He was replaced by a clone. Not an exact replica but close enough. Still puts on a good enough show. 

I make my own noiSe. I drink black coffee. I watch the frigate birds soar above the coconut trees. I play at artist. I play at tarot. I play at writer. I watch "Little House on The Prairie" and "Cheaters" with David. That is all you need to know.
 

GAY AS FUCK

"Gay as fuck," David muttered a few minutes ago. He didn't get much sleep last night and he wasn't feeling the whole leg day thing. But finally he said, "Fuck it." He decided to forge ahead with his leg day regimen.

Tuesday, Martes, is ruled (or sponsored, as I like to say) by Mars. There isn't anything gay about Mars. David is an Aries (MARS) with Capricorn (Saturn) rising and a Gemini (Mercury) moon. Mercury is definitely gay. Jupiter? Gay as fucking HELL. Mars is not gay and neither is Saturn. Venus? Yeah, gay. Neptune? GAY. Uranus? Of course it's gay! Pluto is in the closet. If Pluto is gay it's none of your goddamn business.

Back to the salt mines. And by salt mines I mean shuffling tarot cards for clients, making noiSe for my vaRiouS YouTube channels, creating designs for my swooncaKe storefront and writing at least a hundred words for Retarded Beyond Redemption.

Be gay. Don't be gay. Jesus thinks you're okay either way.

xxx MISTI xxx