One day my kitty cat died and I was sad so I sent rainbow balloons to Lucky Charms God and he sent me a prize which had never been included in any of the boxes and it was a mood ring and I'm always sad so it was purple. But then it was Halloween and I was 1983 edition Madonna and everyone loved me so I smiled like I meant it and baked a slutty unicorn cake and jumped out of it naked and became the darling of Instagram until Evan Stone kidnapped me, drugged me, married me in Vegas and said,"Look, little lady. You belong to me now and I don't want any other motherfuckers to see your goodies." So I kept myself under wraps except for when I was prancing around for Mister Mine and he told me I was Cleopatra Meets Ava Gardner meets Angelina Jolie and I believed him so now I'm as happy as I'll ever be claimed as I am by someone who matters.
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